you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
