Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
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