He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
