he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
