so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We named our party play list daddy issues
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
