yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
