ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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