i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
