I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
