I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
