She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
