Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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