The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Bring me that man meat
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
