I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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