Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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