Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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