he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
