We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
