I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
