Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
