What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
