eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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