she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
