Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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