I puked a lego.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
