She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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