the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
