it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
