How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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