I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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