You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
