found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
