Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
