do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
