Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
