a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
