You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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