Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
