been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
