Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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