ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Congratulations! We have a period
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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