We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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