found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
