So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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