some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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