im gay
i know
yea but for you.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
