we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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