how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
