I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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