genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
