if you like me you must not know who I am
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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