Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
