i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
