if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
