I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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