If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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